My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
