Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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