White coat. Heels.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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