this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
