quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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