Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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