Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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