I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
