I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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