Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
