Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
