Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize