im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
