This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
