how do flat chested girls get laid?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
