just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
