I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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