Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
