Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I didn't notice because vodka
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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