I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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