stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my shit smells like andre
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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