I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
