I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
