First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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