Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
