I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize