There was a lot of him and a little penis
This house was built for laser tag.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
