i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
