i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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