Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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