have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
