New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
