you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
