life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
