Non-Jews are for practice
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize