Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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