He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
