Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
