he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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