Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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