people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
