Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
