Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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