I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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