do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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