WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
