I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
