Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
