i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
