Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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