Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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