you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize