Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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