Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
