butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
