how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
