is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
