I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I need water and some morals
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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