Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Non-Jews are for practice
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
