I seem to have left my pride at pride
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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