Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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