fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
