You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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