The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
