like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
