nut hugger
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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