Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
