I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
