So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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