Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize