It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
