wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize