I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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