Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I said "one day" and that day is not today
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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