Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
