dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
