I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
