'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
