question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
