did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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