I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
