hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
