And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
