I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I accidentally had phone sex last night
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize