remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
