After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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