Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
