Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
