So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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