He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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