what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
